Most breakups are not hard to predict. A gradual loss of interest, frequent fighting, or a growing indifference from one or both parties are common signs that the relationship may be dying. But there are breakups that catch the other person completely off guard. Also known as the blindside breakup, it’s this kind of breakup that usually hurts the most because it feels so much like a betrayal. Reeling from a breakup that caught you off guard? Read on to know how to cope.
Allow Yourself To Feel Upset
You just had the rug pulled out from under you, so you are entitled to feel the entire gamut of emotions that come out of the woodwork when breakups happen. You may want to send the next few days curled up in a ball as you bawl your eyes out. You may alternate between bouts of crying and cursing the other person for being such a cruel, cold-blooded monster. You may have an uncontrollable urge to call them up and beg for a reconciliation. Know that this is normal and that you need to fully let this phase play out if you want the healing process to begin.
Having a strong support network of friends and family who can listen to you as you go through this can help tremendously during the recovery process. Friends can be there to listen, offer advice, encouragement or prevent you from doing something that you will regret later on. Friends can also offer perspective. They can remind you that this has happened to other people too, and that you are not going through this alone.
Relationship experts recommend writing your feelings down as each day progresses. This is one way to effectively sort out what you are feeling so they don’t stay a convoluted, tangled mess in your head. Writing things down can also help you asses how much your perception changes from day 1 to say, day 14. Keeping a daily diary of your activities, thoughts and feelings becomes crucial because you still might be feeling numb and cloudy right after a breakup. Writing it all down can help you look back to see how your mind and body is adjusting as one day rolls into the next.
It may feel like this is the most painful thing you have ever experienced and it very well may be. However, as painful as it feels, it is not the end of the world. Breakups happen every day, for various reasons, to millions of people around the world. Breakups are a glitch in an otherwise perfectly good life. They happen, leave you feeling hurt and broken, and they may even cast permanent emotional scars, but they will not not kill you.
Perhaps the best thing to come out of every breakup is the fact that you dodged a bullet and avoided wasting more time and resources on the wrong person. There is nothing more devastating than the realization that you wasted years and years of your life in one relationship that would eventually blow up in your face just the same. So thank the heavens that the wrong relationship was terminated just in time, freeing you to look forward to the right one.
Breakups are hard, messy and very painful, but they are part of life. You cannot enjoy the highs of great relationships without taking on the risks that someday those same relationships could end. If you happen to be at the receiving end of a blindside breakup, breathe in, breathe out, remind yourself that this won’t kill you, and take it one day at a time. Chances are, you’ll come out of this stronger, wiser, and ready to take on the right relationship when it comes your way.
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