There are some that believe if a woman tells a man that she hates the sight him. That she is not the least bit romantically attracted to him and just the mere thought of intimacy with him makes her want to puke. That it is conceivable, that man would still have a better chance of dating her more than a man she has placed in her Friend Zone.
Oh the dreaded Friend Zone. That real but intangible place of existence she convents. Reserved for childhood friends, roommates and now you. It takes tremendous savvy to navigate the thin line between proving to her that you are not like most guys, that are only interested in getting her in bed, and that guy she can so effortlessly open up and talk to, because you only like her for her.
Avoiding the Friend Zone pitfall is one of the more difficult challenges a man can encounter while pursuing the affection of his love interest. A small miscalculation or overreach while in his attempt to gain favor and he can perilously fall into her Friend Zone. Thus, relegated to a life of high fives, fist bumps and cheek to cheek kisses.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with being viewed as a friend. Many people proudly proclaim to have only a few close friends in their lifetime, so you should consider yourself fortunate if you have that designation bestowed upon you. However, if friendship was not your intent, it can be incredibly disappointing to find out that someone you thought was a potential love-mate views you as a good friend and nothing more.
There may not be a guaranteed formula to completely evade the Friend Zone, but there are some actions you can take to ensure she doesn’t view your friendship as indispensable. For example, be certain to make a concerted effort to be romantic and from the beginning be totally transparent about your intentions, and communicate them before she sees you as only a friend. A declaration of love is gross overkill and isn’t necessary. Just something short and simple will get your point across.
Establish and reinforce the path to a romantic relationship, because this can make a difference when setting expectations. For instance, when choosing a place for a date, instead of opting for a noisy bar, select a more intimate setting like a lounge. Don’t be afraid to give her compliments, or state your attraction to her. If the moment feels appropriate and she approves, hold her hand. This makes it clear to her that your intensions are more than platonic.
Make certain your conversation focuses on the things you two have in common. The best romantic matches tend to be with people you share a mutual interest. Regardless, whether it’s a hobby, similar personality traits, or compatible goals for your future. Identify traits and interests that the two of you share and focus on those when you spend time together. Although that may seem obvious, but the reason many men fall into the Friend Zone is, they spend time chasing a love interest with whom they have nothing in common. So it’s essential that the person you are interested in realizes that you have the potential to be in multiple aspects of their life, because by doing so she is more likely to see you as a partner, than a friend.
Now the next course of action is debatable. However, many believe if you want to avoid the Friend Zone it’s probably best if you are not too available. People say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and there is some real truth to this platitude. While it’s important the object of your affection views you as someone they can rely on, by no means should you stop whatever you’re doing to spend time with them upon their request. That reaction can signal desperation and make you less attractive. If you’re overeager, they are more likely to move you into the friend category. Being too busy every once in a while shows that you’re a well-rounded person with a variety of interests and priorities, which is much more attractive to a potential partner.
Finally, know when to move on. If after communicating your feelings, you determine that the object of your affections just isn’t interested in dating you, it’s important to be respectful of that. The truth is, not everybody will be a perfect match for you, and that’s okay. There are plenty of people out there that will be a better match for you, so your efforts will be better served by moving on so you can find them. Avoid the temptation to be friends, because the truth is you really don’t want to be friends, you want a romantic relationship and that is cause for complications, resulting in frustration and hurt feelings. If you insist on being friends then, you should only do so if you’re feelings are in check and you can genuinely be friends, without any ulterior motives.
Eluding the Friend Zone can be a challenging part of dating. However, by establishing your intensions it is possible to avoid it. At minimum, by making your intensions known you can properly gauge her interest, because the truth is, she may not be interested in romance or friendship.
By signing up you agree to receive email alerts from TrendBahn. You can unsubscribe at any time.