Let’s be honest, some men are not very good at verbalizing their feelings. However, that does not mean they’re not communicating. The unfortunate part is for women who are used to voicing their thoughts. For them it can be frustrating when trying to translate a man’s nonverbal behavior. In particular, when your relationship moves from the ‘getting to know you’, to the ‘let’s get serious’ stages, and then suddenly, he’s no longer the doting man that was once clamoring for your attention.
When speaking of themselves, men will say they are simple creatures and they say what they mean. However, that is not usually the case and when the lack of communication occurs it can be extremely frustrating to a woman, because there is nothing more confusing than a man who suddenly gets cold and distant for no reason, after weeks of bonding and showing affection.
Here are some behavioral acts you may experience from him, even if you don’t know why there’s a sudden change in his conduct.
1. Text Messages Are Coming Less Frequent – You’re used to a constant volley of texts between the two of you. All of a sudden there’s a sudden decline in “Hey” messages, or he takes a lot longer to respond to your messages.
2. Phone Calls Are Short, But Not Sweet – Remember those late night phone calls in which the two of you bantered about pretty much anything that came to mind. We’ll those calls have become few and far between. The calls, if still happening are short and rushed.
3. I’ve Made Other Plans – You’re used to spending free time together, weekends, after work, etc., but now he doesn’t have time and if he does his plans do not involve you.
4. On Dates, He’s Not All There – On the rare occasion that you do spend time together he seems withdrawn. He’s not unfriendly, but he seems to be on a different planet. If you broach the subject of your relationship, he quickly changes the subject or keeps his participation to a minimum.
As tough as it may be to hear, if he’s pulling away consider letting him go. Don’t pursue him, or tell him you’re feeling neglected or unappreciated. Don’t constantly call or send texts messages in hope that he will respond. As much as you might miss him, don’t suggest any plans that involve you two spending time together if he doesn’t seem to be inquiring about your availability.
Instead, use the time to hang out with your own friends and family, since whirlwind romances tend to cause us to keep them sidelined. This ‘coming up for air’ period might be a chance to objectively evaluate your relationship based on your standards and life goals, rather than how he feels about you.
The sales of hundreds of books are attributed to women who have asked the question, ‘Why do men go silent?’ Women want to know why their men go on communication lockdown for no apparent reason without exhibiting any outwardly negative behavior.
The truth is when men withdraw it could be for any number of reasons. Men tend to internalize their feelings, mulling them over until they’ve figured them out. In the meantime, you might be thinking, “we get along so well… why can’t he use me as a sounding board?” But that’s not how most men are wired. He might be dealing with stress at work. He might be contemplating his next career move. His best friend might be acting like a jerk, or it’s the strain of a family matter.
Perhaps he’s just a little freaked out because, things between you two are going so well.
If he hasn’t completely cut-off communication, his odd behavior has only gone on for a couple of weeks, and he still initiates contact now and again, your man just might be processing his feelings for you.
Many relationship experts will tell you that men love less often, but more intensely. Even if their behavior is driving you crazy, it’s a sign that they’re stable and rational. They are individuals who want to make the right choice when they get serious with a woman. By definition being a good man requires a huge commitment and letting go of certain perceived freedoms. So their behavior could be a manifestation of their feelings for you. Remember when you were a little girl and there was that boy that picked on by pulling your hair. You recall how years later you were shocked to learn that he always had crush on you? Could men’s nonverbal behavior be a grown man’s way of pulling your hair… maybe
How much you’re willing to tolerate is up to you to decide. One thing is for certain. If he does start asking to spend more meaningful time with you, you’ll be in a better position to decide whether he’s been worth the wait.
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